Reasons Why I’m Single

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One: I annoy people

Two: I’m never anyones first choice

Three: I fuck shit up

Four: I’m just bad with relationships

Five: I’m not liked

Six: I’m an ugly ass motherfucker

Seven: I spend my whole life locked away in a dark room with food and a laptop

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Bored, horny? Chat AND rub one out with me!😍

Some Real Advice

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Don’t be a pussy when eating pussy.


take it to the next level.
have her sit on your face. have her ride your fucking tongue.
lick every ounce of wetness that she’s dripping just for you.
wrap her legs around your head, eat her pussy,
like its the last pussy you will ever eat.
moan, nibble, bite, tug, slurp, suck, kiss
make her fucking scream
than maybe just maybe she will make you
a fucking sandwich.

Share to Facebook

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The image says: Why do porn sites have a “share to Facebook” button. Who watches porn and thinks “you know who would really enjoy this? My friends and family.”

…unless your friends and family are sex positive pornstars themselves! 😉